Excitement and afresh some: Who says you can’t accept fun in a baby town? Alike one with our abnormal burghal amenities (bus service, art galleries, movies, acceptable restaurants, etc.). Certainly not me.
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I sometimes get calls from accompany bottomward in San Francisco authoritative funnies like, “What’s your ZIP cipher up there, E-I-E-I-O?”
You can actualize your own ball in a nonurban setting. I acquaint my big-city peeps that fun abounds actuality if you aloof attending for it. Actuality are aloof a few of the agitative bounded options that float my boat:
• Taking a bout of my neighbors’ linen closets.
• Watching the trucks unload bottomward at Safeway.
• Buying a round-trip admission on the bear aloof to assignment the jigsaw puzzles.
• Going into Doc’s and allurement if there are any cardiologists or neurologists available.
• Heading bottomward to North Beach on Friday nights to beachcomber at casual cruise ships.
• Counting Priuses in the Aliment Co-op parking lot.
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• Attending a White Bodies for Diversity rally. (Props to clairvoyant Seth Leighton for that one.)
• Picking the apples from a neighbor’s timberline and carrying them to her door. (Leighton again.)
• Going to Art Walk and allurement strangers if their name is Art.
• Bringing a canteen of Three Buck Chuck into the best big-ticket restaurant in boondocks and advantageous the corkage fee.
• Going up to Les Schwab and watching annoy rotations.
• Going to the hospital cafeteria and allurement if they serve Slim Jims.
• Checking that the Wi-Fi works by sending emails to myself from assorted locations about town.
• Driving bottomward to the airport to watch the planes land.
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• Going up to the column appointment and allurement back the Guns N’ Roses brand will be issued. (There’s already a Jimi Hendrix stamp.)
• Buying a admission to The Rose Theatre so you can adhere out in the antechamber and apprehend their archetype of The New York Times.
• Getting an oil change every time you accomplish the continued drive over to Sequim to get chargeless aliment samples at Costco.
• Donating copies of the National Enquirer to the Carnegie Library for its journal section.
• Swallowing aggregate your dentist puts in your mouth.
• Doing convulsion accommodation drills by sleeping in your doorway.
• Going through the automatic car ablution aloof to see all the checkered streams of water. (“Oh, wow … bifold rainbow!”)
• Going on ride-alongs with beat readers.
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• Going to the golf advance and yelling, “In the hole!” afterwards anniversary golfer putts.
• Picking up wet buzz books beneath mailboxes and carrying them to the acreage owners (because they charge not accept accepted they were there).
• Eating at allurement and accouterment shops because sushi is too expensive.
• Listing your neighbor’s abode on Airbnb. (Leighton again.)
• Allurement a bounded timberline surgeon what affectionate of analgesic he uses.
• Watching the Senate USDA Meat Inspection Committee hearings on C-SPAN.
• Going out to The Palindrome and announcing, “A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!” Or, alike better, “Go adhere a salami, I’m a lasagna hog.”
Got some added of your own? Email them to me. And put “PT Excitement” in the accountable line.
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Port Townsend citizen Bill Mann has been a amusement columnist for USA and CBS MarketWatch. He’s consistently attractive for funny items – and funny people. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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