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Excitement and afresh some: Who says you can’t accept fun in a baby town? Alike one with our abnormal burghal amenities (bus service, art galleries, movies, acceptable restaurants, etc.). Certainly not me. 

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I sometimes get calls from accompany bottomward in San Francisco authoritative funnies like, “What’s your ZIP cipher up there, E-I-E-I-O?”

You can actualize your own ball in a nonurban setting. I acquaint my big-city peeps that fun abounds actuality if you aloof attending for it. Actuality are aloof a few of the agitative bounded options that float my boat: 

• Taking a bout of my neighbors’ linen closets.

• Watching the trucks unload bottomward at Safeway.

• Buying a round-trip admission on the bear aloof to assignment the jigsaw puzzles. 

• Going into Doc’s and allurement if there are any cardiologists or neurologists available. 

• Heading bottomward to North Beach on Friday nights to beachcomber at casual cruise ships. 

• Counting Priuses in the Aliment Co-op parking lot.

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• Attending a White Bodies for Diversity rally. (Props to clairvoyant Seth Leighton for that one.) 

• Picking the apples from a neighbor’s timberline and carrying them to her door. (Leighton again.) 

• Going to Art Walk and allurement strangers if their name is Art.

• Bringing a canteen of Three Buck Chuck into the best big-ticket restaurant in boondocks and advantageous the corkage fee.

• Going up to Les Schwab and watching annoy rotations.

• Going to the hospital cafeteria and allurement if they serve Slim Jims. 

• Checking that the Wi-Fi works by sending emails to myself from assorted locations about town. 

• Driving bottomward to the airport to watch the planes land.

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• Going up to the column appointment and allurement back the Guns N’ Roses brand will be issued. (There’s already a Jimi Hendrix stamp.) 

• Buying a admission to The Rose Theatre so you can adhere out in the antechamber and apprehend their archetype of The New York Times. 

• Getting an oil change every time you accomplish the continued drive over to Sequim to get chargeless aliment samples at Costco. 

• Donating copies of the National Enquirer to the Carnegie Library for its journal section.

• Swallowing aggregate your dentist puts in your mouth. 

• Doing convulsion accommodation drills by sleeping in your doorway.

• Going through the automatic car ablution aloof to see all the checkered streams of water. (“Oh, wow … bifold rainbow!”)

• Going on ride-alongs with beat readers.

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• Going to the golf advance and yelling, “In the hole!” afterwards anniversary golfer putts. 

• Picking up wet buzz books beneath mailboxes and carrying them to the acreage owners (because they charge not accept accepted they were there).

• Eating at allurement and accouterment shops because sushi is too expensive.

• Listing your neighbor’s abode on Airbnb. (Leighton again.) 

• Allurement a bounded timberline surgeon what affectionate of analgesic he uses. 

• Watching the Senate USDA Meat Inspection Committee hearings on C-SPAN. 

• Going out to The Palindrome and announcing, “A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!” Or, alike better, “Go adhere a salami, I’m a lasagna hog.”

Got some added of your own? Email them to me. And put “PT Excitement” in the accountable line.  

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Port Townsend citizen Bill Mann has been a amusement columnist for USA and CBS MarketWatch. He’s consistently attractive for funny items – and funny people. Email him at newsmann9@gmail.com.  

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